Hi friends! I threw up this evening – it was awful! I can count on my one hand how many times I’ve thrown up in my life. One of the worst feelings ever. So now I’m just huddled on the couch listening to good, but sad, music. One of my best friends and I laugh because me, being the bubbly, happy go lucky person, loves super sad songs, and him being a melancholy kind of person, loves super bubbly, animated songs. We joke that his music is more fun than he is. 😆
So if you’re into sad ballads, these are my current favorites –
This needs to be in every sad scene in every movie. Her cover is better than the original IMO! Gut- wrenching and beautiful Love hearing a girl’s version of this song. The melody of this song wow One of my favorite songs ever
So much talent out there! I am so thankful for amazing songwriters and singers. Do you have any favorite ballads? I’d love to know!
As someone whose husband’s job has us relocating ever so often, I have a lot of tips on how to do it well and thrive in your new community! We have lived in Carnation Wa, Keyport, Wa, Kennewick, Wa, Richland, Wa, and Hillsboro, Or. We are a homeschooling family, so that makes it possible for us to up and leave anytime Nate has a new project. Here are my tips for how to thrive in the new location!
Write a “Better in _____ (new city/town)” list
Sunset by our new place
My dad always instilled in me to focus on what I can control. He said, “If you can do something about it, take action, but if you can’t do something about it, find a way to love it or make the best out of it.”
This way of thinking has served me well my whole life! Moving falls into the second category. I can’t control that we have a lifestyle where we relocate. BUT, I can learn to look for good in my new location. One way I do that is by keeping a running list on my phone’s notes- “Better in ______ (new town/city)
I look for the good. I write it down. Anytime I think of something better in the new location, I add it to the list! This is one way to embrace the present and make the most out of it.
Here’s my current list!
Ice maker works
Living room speaker is amazing
An entire room dedicated to just being my dressing room
I have one less toilet, tub, sink, and bathroom to clean in this house.
House full of light
skylight in dining area
Super fast internet
close to the ocean
Ac
closer to many things- 15 min from Costco, Winco, and Walmart
close to Nate’s work
We can make money in Carnation home while here
Naval base is off leash after it closes and is larger than by the lake
Corner store we can bike or walk to
Post office we can bike or walk to
Best caramel ice cream
Keep a running list of places you want to visit in your new town and places you have already visited and want to visit again
A favorite pump track nearby!
When you’re doing your research on the area, write down all the locations you want to check out. I write down hikes, pizza places that have received medals from Italy, pump tracks for the boys, indoor play areas, great beaches for low tide and kite flying, foot massage locations, steakhouse recommendations etc. I’ll ask moms in the area about their favorite grocery stores, taco trucks, sushi places. I’ll ask about the best playgrounds, lakes to swim in, and skate parks. Once I’ve gone to a place, I’ll move it over to the bottom of the page so that I don’t forget about it!
Join all the Facebook groups
Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there! Most people are just happy to be invited to things.
I’ve joined a Christian homeschool group, a homeschool group in the county I’m in, a homeschool adventure group, the local mom’s group, a friend finder group, a neighborhood group, the buy nothing group, and I’ve made my own mom’s group. If there’s a new in town group, I’d join that too! The key is to join all the groups that look like they meet IRL or the groups that look like they want to socialize. This is a tip from an extreme extrovert (100%). You never feel weird about looking for new friends when you are new in town! No one expects you to already have friends! If you wait a year before reaching out, or the longer you wait to try to make friends, the more awkward you will feel. If you’re a newbie you don’t have to think that other people are thinking, “Why doesn’t she have friends?” Not that they are thinking that, butyou might be thinking they are thinking that. Strike while it’s hot. There’s no better time to make new friends in a new town than when you are new to the area. And when you post on the groups, declare it! “Hi! I’m new in town and my two boys, ages 7 and 10 are looking for new friends!”
Post in the groups what you like! I’ve started a hiking group, a board game group, and I’ll be doing a karaoke group next month. All of this is through Facebook groups and messenger. I’ll post “ who likes hiking?” And then if they comment, I add them to the messenger group and I set up hikes and game nights.
I even set up play dates before we move so that we have something on the calendar after we settle in.
We moved April 20th and I have hosted 2 hiking meetups, scheduled a summer bbq potluck for the neighborhood for June, a ladies’ game night in June, gone to two homeschool gatherings, made four individual playdates out of those two gatherings, joined an elementary school game night, and I walk 4 days a week with the neighborhood walking group. Remember if you can only focus on two things for a happy life, it’s having a great romantic relationship and great friendships. All the effort is worth it!
Pray for your new community and neighborhood
Think about what you can give, not just what you can get out of your community
If you’re a Christian, the best piece of advice I can give you for your move is to ask God to bless your family in this transition and ask Him how you can be a blessing to your new community-
“Lord I pray for this neighborhood and this community, that our family can be a blessing to these people while we are here. Show us where the needs are, how we can help. Give us opportunities to serve our new community and neighbors. Thank You that they have already made an effort to reach out to us, be neighborly, and welcome us.”
Have an attitude of gratitude and anticipate and expect good to come out of it! Most people don’t get what they want in life, hope for in life, or work hard for in life. Most people get what they expect they will get.
Hi friends! Hope your week is winding down and you have some relaxing weekend plans to look forward to. Here are a couple cool things I love-
Using lavender oil on a burn immediately
I learned this tip to use lavender oil from my once a personal chef and recipe book author sister in law, and it works better than any cream or aloe vera. The magic is that many times it prevents burns from blistering! Try it! I’ll never use anything else!
Using Crest whitestrips to whiten teeth
My most complimented physical feature are my white teeth! I’ve tried a gamut of whitening options, even doing professional whitening at the dentist once. Crest whitestrips do the best job and are the least expensive option. My most recent dentist even recommends this to her patients!
Reading this book to your kids as an introduction to the birds and the bees
Sometimes kids are at an age when you don’t feel like it’s time to go into all the details but you don’t want to leave them hanging when curiosity spikes and questions are thrown at you. That’s what this book does- it covers the basic premise- dad gives a seed to mamma! Such a sweet, adorable book.
In the 10 years of being a mom, I have read thousands of books with my kids. We have read so many because I hate rereading books. We pile bags full of books from the library, read everything once, and go back and repeat the process all over. These books below are the ones that have me laughing out loud, literally!
The Legend of Rock, Paper, Scissors
My number 1 pick!
This book is my absolute number one recommendation. We read it year ago and I still remember us dying of laughter at every other page. I have two boys who can agree that this one is the BEST.
Frog and Toad are friends
This whole collection is amazing. I read it out loud and give both characters different voices. It’s even more hilarious because I make Toad sound like an absolute fool. 😆 My favorite story is “Down the Hill.”
Do you have any favorite funny kids books? I’d love to check them out!
Hi friends! I am really enjoying all this sunshine in Washington state. I’m eating a lot of yummy fresh things as the weather warms up. I’ve also always been a lazy foodie, so the less time I have to spend in the kitchen, the happier I am. Which brings me to the first obsession-
1. No cook smoked salmon board for dinner
Carb- check. Produce- check. Protein- check! My family loves this meal too- they never complain.
By the way, this is our favorite smoked salmon from Costco! It’s so moist and flavorful!
2. Melona popsicles
You know how you get moods for fresh popsicles and some other moods for creamy popsicles? This is for when you’re craving both fresh and creamy. We love the Ube and Honeydew flavors! Honeydew just screams summer- I also lovethis drink.
3. Always something fresh and crunchy with something soft
Soft- Sour cream and green chili chicken enchiladas + crunchy and fresh tomato slaw
This is one of my big food rules! Everything soft (think enchiladas or mataar paneer and rice) can be drastically improved by adding something fresh and crunchy. It’s just that juxtaposition of textures in your mouth that make it more satisfying. So instead of just enchiladas, I’ll make a pico de gallo with it. For Indian food, I always order a fresh cucumber and lettuce salad to balance out the textures. Here are more soft + fresh and crunchy combos-
Soft- burrata + crunchy and fresh pistachios and tomatoes Soft pasta puttanesca + crunchy and fresh salad Soft potatoes, olives, eggs, salmon nicoise + crunchy and fresh lettuce, green beans, and tomatoes. Soft black beans and mushroom rice + crunchy and fresh tomato and cucumber salad Soft tacos al vapor + crunchy and fresh cabbage slaw Soft green chili quiche + crunchy and fresh green salad Soft honey squash with brown butter sage and goat cheese + crunchy and fresh pear arugula salad with toasted almond – my bestie made these!
Do you have any food rules or recent desserts or easy meals you’re loving? I’d love to know!
There’s that age when kids outgrow mostly all their toys besides the occasional leggo build, and it’s just screen time or doing fun things with friends that’s left. Are you in that season too?
If you’re anything like me and you’d rather stare at paint drying than do most kid related activities with your kids, listen up. This is for you. I vouch for these activities because I actually enjoy them!
The everyone draw a part of the person game
Can you guess what part I drew? 😆
Here’s how you play! This game works best with three players. You fold the paper in three parts. Nobody can see what someone else draws until the reveal at the end. Someone draws the head and neck on the first part of the paper, and they must draw the neck a little into the second part of the paper so the second person can connect it to the midsection of the body. When the first person is done, they flip the page and give the piece of paper for the second person to draw the arms and midsection. When the second person is done, they draw a little bit of the legs on the third part of the paper to get the third person connected to the body, and the third person draws legs and feet. Once the third person is done, you do the big reveal and laughter ensues!
The most fun cookie to bake with your kids
My kids love making these peanut butter and chocolate blossom cookies! More fun than a regular cookie because you roll each cookie into a circle with your hands and smash the Hershey’s Kisses in the center. There’s something so satisfying about doing that. They are also delish.
The board games I actually love that they are old enough to play
Tetris fans, you will love this game!
My top 4 games right now to play with preteens are Blokus, Tsuro, Catan, and Rummikub. Blokus and Tsuro are super duper easy to teach and play – even a 5 year old can play, but it’s still fun for adults! Catan is a very long game but there’s building and trading, so it’s very interactive and engaging. Rummikub has to do with finding patterns and is a quieter thinking game but still really fun.
Have you done any of these things with your preteens? What do you like to do to spend quality time with your preteens? I’d love to know!
My BEST piece of relationship advice from someone who wrote a relationship column for ten years, wrote a relationship book for teenage girls, and has been happily married for fifteen years-
If you don’t marry a man who’s (errs on the side of) BORING, you’re doing it wrong.
You know what’s boring?
Responsible is boring — takes duties and actions seriously
Slow to anger is boring— not easily angered
Reliable is boring — can be trusted to work well consistently
Dutiful is boring — can be counted on
Calm is boring — emotionally steady, not anxious
Even-keeled is boring— stable temperament
Unflappable is boring— not easily upset or stressed
Composed is boring— controlled and self-possessed
Secure is boring — psychologically stable, not anxious/insecure
Stable is boring — emotionally consistent
Relaxed is boring — low tension or worry
Self-assured is boring— confident without anxiety
Resilient is boring — recovers well from stress
Phlegmatic is boring— calm temperament
Well-adjusted is boring — psychologically healthy and functional
Date exciting, fine. But please, please, please, if you want an amazing life, marry boring.
I am notoriously an “under buyer,” and minimalist, so when I make any kind of suggestion to purchase something, it has been tried and tested for decades! Here are things that are very worth it for me-
If you’re in the Seattle area and like super deep massages, ask for Andy at Sole Relax in Kirkland!
1. Foot massages. Because did you know that $45 hour long “foot” massage is actually a full body massage by a guy who is a probably a strong robot in disguise who doesn’t stop, not even for a second, the entire time and gives it is all?!
3. Merino wool socks that don’t twist and turn all day leaving me trying to figure out the puzzle of which side is up and which side is down. Because my feet are always cold.
4. Hand sanitizer in pump form to permanently sit in my car’s cup holders and another one in the kid’s cup holders. Because it’s the first thing we always do when we come from anywhere outside of the home. Because nobody has time to be sick.
5. This back massager. I’ve tried so many, and I’ve bought this one twice (the kids broke it once) because it’s really precise and accurate. Don’t even tease me with it weak vibrations. I need my knots worked. I’ve also bought it as a gift. After theirs broke because my friend decided it was a good idea to use it while laying down, they bought it again.
6. Sunscreenapplied every day of the year unless you need a flashlight. Because preventing lines is easier than fixing lines. This gel one is my favorite.
7. Wash cloths.Because they clean way better than any pouf, and I can reach my back better holding onto opposite ends and twisting it.
8. Paula’s Choice BHA– because I want smooth, glass-like skin, and nothing besides retinol has made me glow like this product.
9. A microfiber hair towel that stays put.Because drying hair takes up too much precious time as it is and this not only speeds up the process, but I don’t have to remake my turban 20 times.
10. Sticky nipple covers.Because who cares if they aren’t perky any more?! I want coverage, no back lines, and no digging straps.
11. Fancy floss.Because once I tried these, I could never go back realizing my old stuff didn’t do much. I’ve converted several friends!
12. A fluffy eyeshadow brush to apply concealer.I’ve give up foundation all together and use way less product. I used to be a makeup artist, and I’ve tried every way to put on concealer- concealer brush, fingers, sponge, beauty blender. This is the best and once I tried it, I was amazed how much coverage I got with so little product.
14. A cute summer hat. Because everyone always compliments this hat, and it makes every single summer outfit fashionable and protects my eyes and face from the sun all summer!
16. A go to cute small purse that just holds my keys, wallet, and phone. Because most of the time, that’s all I need anyway. You don’t want to go much larger than 9×5 for this.
18. Some kind of retinol.Because if it’s not this or BHA, it doesn’t actually do anything. These peels were my first foray into the world of chemical peels instead of physical exfoliation and they do not disappoint!
19. A signature fragrance. So all the little girls think of me when they smell my scent after I’ve left the bathroom at co-op, my ex still gets reminded of me when he smells my scent, and my kids will associate the scent with me their entire lives even after I pass.
20. A Netflix subscription. Because it’s less than 10 bucks, has the best options, and they have finally caught on that I’m not in the household of the two friends whose login I’ve been using. 😂
How about you?! What are some things you buy over and over again and are definitely worth it? I’d love to know!
I have renewed my commitment to waking up early, so today, I got up with Nate at 5 am, and after my prayer and Bible reading time, I’m writing! Life in the Heckman household has been hard the last week with both boys getting sick back to back, and as it is, there are so many bad things happening in the world. So, I wanted to do a little post to help share some things currently making more streamlined, meaningful, fun, and delightful as of late.
More delightful- This movie
I love a movie I can enjoy with Nate and then immediately text my mother-in-law, “You gotta watch this movie!” This is one of those kinds of movies. Thanks to my friend Tory for the suggestion! Side note- I love having a friend who has the exact same taste in movies and series as me. Anytime we like a movie or show, we text each other. It’s one of the small, quiet glimmers of having a girl friend who shares something in common with you. Speaking of friendship…
More meaningful- This podcast
This podcast episode delves deep into the benefits of friendship, the different kinds of friendships, and most importantly, ways to be a better friend and deepen your friendships. I don’t typically like podcasts where just one person is talking to the audience, but Arthur Brooks is the exception. As a Harvard professor, he does his podcasts like a lecture, being very science-based, well-researched, and organized. You can tell his podcasts are outlined, and he’s not just talking in stream of consciousness. He gets straight to the point and speaks quickly and persuasively. I love all his work.
More fun- This activity
How cute is this idea! My kids are constantly giving me tiny little flowers that I never know what to do with, and this is the perfect whimsical solution!
More streamlined- This chore/schoolwork system
Ok first, God is so good because unbeknownst to me, I married someone who is constantly improving my life on his own initiative.
Remember my sad chore chart?
I had to erase things and rewrite things every night because not every chore or schoolwork item happened everyday. Well, Nate is a genius. He wrote every possible option in wet erase marker (harder to remove) and then in dry erase marker (easier to remove) I just have to outline in red or blue (on the left side) so the boys know it’s something that needs to be done that day. Then they just fill in the square when they’ve completed it. If the item isn’t framed in red or blue, it’s not something that needs to be done that day.
I guess the point is to marry someone who makes your life infinitely easier, not harder! 😂🥰Love this meme-
So true!!
So what’s making your week better? I’d love to know!
The best compliments are specific! This was my favorite Mother’s Day card I’ve received in the 10 years I’ve been a mom, because it was so specific. 🥹
“Thank you mom for being outgoing, thank you mom for having some humor, and thank you mom for keeping me safe.”
If you’re a mom, how was your Mother’s Day? Did you celebrate your mom?
My 7 year old son, Luke, wore this shirt all day and it made me chuckle. 🤭
He also had a very sweet card.
Since I homeschool my boys and they are young and in my business 24/7 😂, I like to get away on Mother’s Day. So this year it was a hike with new friends and a lunch date with my brother. Nate got me a new robe I’m loving from Amazon. Apparently my current robe is too short. Oops. Hope you’re having a great start to your week, and thanks for reading!
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